This is pretty much me, hugging Southerners.
(I'm the one on the left.)
Everything in me wants to stick my right hand out into the middle of the situation rather than wrap both arms around someone I just met. Which would not be good.
It's not that I don't like hugs. I do. I lavish them on The Writer, my grandsons, my daughters, my mom, and my dearest friends.
My sister and brother-in-law give and get side hugs. They look like this and they're very nice too. Supportive, comforting, friendly, welcoming.
What I'm having trouble getting used to is meeting someone for the first or second time and getting a full-force Southern hug.
They look -- and feel -- like this.
Me: "I've just learned your name. I want to see your face so I can recognize it next time. Why are you already squashing your body parts against mine?"
Yes, I know hugs are good for us. They raise oxytocin and seratonin levels. They are good for our immune system and happiness level. We need eight to twelve a day, etc etc etc.
I want y'all to know I'm working on it. Meanwhile, a two-handed handshake is a nice alternative, and one of my favorite greetings.
And the beauty of it is, when one or both feel sufficient familiarity you just pull in and there you are: in a hug!
I am a big hugger...the Grands know it too! I do not like to hug people who are not relatives...just a select few friends get my hugs. :)
ReplyDeleteHugs are best. We hug and hug and hug. All our friends are huggers. You just wouldn't fit in with us if you weren't a hugger. And I mean full-on big hugs too, no wimpy half-hearted stuff. A couple of young biologist friends of ours are coming for dinner and we will spend the first minute hugging. It's the only way to go!
ReplyDeleteI like hugs from my friends, it's the people I just meet that I'm not so crazy about hugging!
DeleteI so agree, I'm not a hugger and I never will be. Though I do say bless your heart to those I think are idiots.
ReplyDeleteFun post, Cynthia. I don't think I get near my quota of hugs a day if I need 10-12! I hug family and friends - strangers not so much...
ReplyDeleteLovely post greetings from Europe
ReplyDeleteThis is so funny! Welcome to the south! I rarely go in Walmart without getting a hug from somebody. I especially don't like the hugs from men who act like they know me because they used to stop by my table at the flea market. We are a family of huggers. When Poppy and I were first married, he said he had never seen it take folks so long to say goodbye as it did my family. Everybody hugs everybody and says "bye" a dozen times and then we stand on the porch and wave until they are out of sight.
ReplyDeleteSorry to butt in - they sell hugs too at Walmart now?
DeleteLOL!
DeleteNo BLOODY hugging business with me.
ReplyDeleteColin
I agree. I save hugs for family and those I know well. I don't hug men!
ReplyDeleteSome people like it and others don't even if they are your best friend and family.
ReplyDeleteMy husbands family is a hugging one, so with them I give a hug because I know them, but not strangers I've just met..
Yes, a hug is good for you.
No kidding? I thought it was just us Asians where hugging doesn't come naturally. However, having lived in the Midwest myself, I got used to it. Ummmm.... but not people you meet for the first time. Just people I know pretty well actually.
ReplyDeleteI only hug my immediate family. And Aunts and Uncles. And cousins. And close friends. And children. And neighbours. And work colleagues. And anyone who's unhappy. And people I haven't seen for years. And people I haven't seen for months. And those I haven't seen for a few days.
ReplyDeleteOh I understand, I don't like hugging with strangers at all. A handshake will do for me.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that being hugged when you are not that keen produces anything positive at all. No thanks to hugs from strangers.
ReplyDeleteNeat post to read and I like a handshake for sure. Happy Easter to you
ReplyDeletebetsy
I think many people have different ideas about hugging. I love hugs from friends and relies not so confident with strangers. I wish my hubby liked hugging more . I have to hug him first. The thing I don't like is the kissing three times tradition that some people have.
ReplyDeleteDear Cynthia, hello! I was never a hugger until in my thirties. Being sexually molested as a child had made me wary of hugs. But then a friend's husband hugged me one day when he met me at the airport. A simply hug that meant we are so happy to see you. And I didn't fall apart. Since then I find myself hugging my brother when he leaves here and also my nieces. But still, there is a moment of hesitancy. A good, firm handshake seems so real to me. Peace.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure us stolid Germanic types are into it. Maybe the two handed handshake might be a step forward though...:)
ReplyDeleteHa that is too funny. I'm a big of a bear hugger myself maybe I should move to your neck of the woods. I know it came from confusion about the number of kisses to offer one will do for me, two is too posh but in with my French friends, three kisses was very normal in Belgium so one big bear hug squashes all that awkward how many kisses are we going for!!!
ReplyDeleteHugs Wren x
We all should wear a badge that tells the other person hug, shake hands, air kiss or what - it would make life easier. Me - I'm sometimes one, sometimes the other really.
ReplyDeleteHuh - I'm English; just imagine the trouble I have wrapping my brain round hugging someone... :-)
ReplyDelete